Sunday, December 25, 2005

All I Want for Christmas is: ............................

I woke up this morning and ran quickly to the Christmas tree where under the tree laid a perfectly wrapped Anchorage Daily News. Quickly, I unwrapped it and read with excitement the Ear.

Unfortunately, the excitement was diminshed; Sheila Toomey's words brought an empty feeling and despair.

These words she spoke:

GREETINGS ... Gov. Murkowski's Christmas card is one of 37 governor's cards that does not mention Christmas, according to a report by the Pew Research Center. He and Nancy opted for the politically correct "Happy Holidays." It's a nice card, though. Check it out at

This news soon brought tears to my eyes since the day before, I quickly ran to mailbox and expecting to find Christmas greetings, I find this:

While wiping the tears from my cheek, I read on the back, he will not be running for re-election in the House race in District 25.

I thought "Oh no" another governor who will be sending Holiday cheer. I had to read again the Ear to see if this was all true about the Christmas cards. But when I did, I found this:

ON THE MOVE ... Mike Doogan, former ADN columnist and current press secretary for the legislative Democrats, is leaving that job at the end of the month. His replacement is Frank Amedure, who starts on Jan. 4. Frank is a former editor of the Frontiersman and was most recently a PIO for the Mat-Su Borough.

Ear asked Doogan whether this is a prelude to filing for Eric Croft's seat in the state House. He said: "Sorry, gotta go. Got a call on the other line."

Or words to that effect.

So in my state of despair, I got on my knees and made a Christmas Wish. I hope it comes true before the November elections.

Please Santa,

1. Make Randy Ruedrich be not so naughty and be more nice.

2. Make Sarah Palin governor.

3. Give me Troy Maulden's knack for getting press (the good stuff).

4. A bigger permanent fund check.

5. A gas line that goes through Canada and a spur that goes to Valdez.

6. A bridge that goes somewhere other than nowhere.

7. 100% state funding of education, with strings attached.

8. A governor's jet with a better paint job from Maaco.

9. A road to Juneau, because I don't like salted peanuts.

10. The Legislature moved to Willow so the lobbyists can pay for the bridge to nowhere with the tolls they would pay. And I wouldn't have to eat salted peanuts.

11. The good looks and charm of Mel Gibson so I can win this race and Mike Doogan goes back to writing for the Anchorage Daily News.

12. And last, I wish the editorial staff at the Anchorage Daily News will "get it right" when they state the facts in their editorials.

Update: I would like to add one more. Please Santa, help me to correct my spelling.

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