Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Imaginary Interview with Matt Zencey and Congressman Don Young

Don Young: Mr. Zencey, How are you today?

Matt Zencey: I am fine Mr. Young

Don Young : Is it true that you were/are the campaign manager of the Alaska Rainforest Campaign

Matt Zencey: I am sorry I am not allowed to discuss that. You have asked me that question before and I have said I will not discuss that.

Don Young: Okay, Have you ever seen the movie Ice Age: The Meltdown.

Matt Zencey: Yes, it was a good movie. It wasn’t factual though. The characters in the movie had names and talked. It would have been better if they didn’t talk.

Don Young: Ever see the movie Bambi?

Matt Zencey: Yes and I cried in the end. It was terrible.

Don Young: But the animals in the movie had names and spoke.

Matt Zencey: So what’s your point Mr. Young?

Don Young: Let’s move on. You have been very critical of my stance on global warming. It seems that you like to blame humans on global warming?

Matt Zencey: Yes that is correct. Scientists from all over the world back up my opinion on the matter. And look what is happening to the polar bears.

Don Young: Ever see the movie Ice Age: The Meltdown?

Matt Zencey: Like I said before, yes. So what’s your point? It didn’t have polar bears in it.

Don Young: Did you ever see the movie the Flintstones?

Matt Zencey: Yes I did, but it was factually incorrect. Cavemen didn’t speak English have cars and houses back then.

Don Young: Have you ever gone swimming in a glacier fed lake in Alaska?

Matt Zencey: Heck no, it’s too cold ……..

Don Young: Did you ever wonder how those lakes got there?

Matt Zencey: Heck no, they didn’t teach that to us in school. Back then, we had Quonset huts for schools and the schools were always under-funded. Like they are today. So what’s your point. What does this have to with Polar Bears?

Don Young: Does Alaska need a gas pipeline?

Matt Zencey: Sure does, we even wrote an opinion on the matter. Got to keep those printing presses going. So what does this question have to do with Polar Bears and global warming………

Don Young: Ever see the movie Ice Age: The Meltdown?

Matt Zencey: Mr. Young, you have asked this question numerous times and I have to say that a movie that is factually incorrect because the animals talked and had names is irrelevant to this interview.

Don Young: Thank you for your time:

Note to those who don't know who Matt Zencey is: He is an Anchorage Daily News Editor

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