They Call It Faith.
The Bible Calls It Idolatry.
It has come to our attention that your assembly has voluntarily constructed, blessed, and dedicated a golden statue to your political leader.
We are writing to express our confusion.
We built an entire apparatus of state terror to compel this behavior. Legions. Edicts. Arenas full of lions. And still your predecessors refused. They died singing. It was, frankly, embarrassing for us.
You appear to have done this of your own free will.
On a Tuesday.
In Florida.
Please be advised that the Empire has reviewed your sacred texts and notes that your own Commandments — which you have lobbied to display in government buildings throughout the provinces — explicitly prohibit this practice. We are not theologians, but we did read the relevant passages. They are not ambiguous.
Furthermore, we wish to clarify: even we waited until after death to declare our emperors divine. You have not extended your leader this courtesy, which we consider, at minimum, poor form.
We have no further demands. You have exceeded them.
Roma Locuta Est.
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